Being a biological male i don’t understand abortion. If you got raped yeah I understand but if you sit there and have sex and then get pregnant you deal with the consequences. I don’t understand why you’d want to kill something you made inside your body. Can someone who is pro choice explain this to me?
Abortion is a way to deal with the consequences.
I know, being someone who will never have to deal with pregnancy, it’s difficult to understand why someone might not want to spend nine months throwing up, getting kicked in the ribs and cervix, with an aching back, with round ligament pain, with sciatica, muscle cramps, swollen feet, headaches, insomnia, exhaustion, nausea, frequent urination, aching hips, all while risking future health and maybe even their life.
And I understand, as someone who will never have to experience it, how you might not understand why someone doesn’t want to endure hours of painful labor followed by having another human ripped or cut from your body.
And I know you can’t possibly understand why someone might not want to then spend 6-8 weeks bleeding profusely in huge chunks from their, possibly, torn vagina. Unable to sit properly. Or piss without it burning. Or even shit without bursting into tears. Or, you know, if they had to have their abdomen sliced open, they would have to deal with that. And you might have had abdominal surgery at some point. So maybe you could see why someone might not want to endure that.
And I mean, since you’ll never have to worry about losing your income due to pregnancy and then thousands of dollars worth of bills that start rolling in before you’re even back on your feet, I can see why that doesn’t seem like a big deal to you.
But why don’t we just trust people to make their own medical decisions. And if it’s something you’ll never have to worry about, that’s even MORE reason to just mind your own business.
I was just wondering please calm down
I’m perfectly calm. You were wondering. I told you. If you didn’t want to know, you probably shouldn’t have asked.
Man: asks for information
Woman: here is your information
Man: woah, omg, why are you so angry??
I guess any description of pregnancy and childbirth sounds angry when you have no idea what they actually entail.
-VA few more things:
First, several people thought perhaps that answer was a tad over the top, I’d argue considering how little both men and women really understand about pregnancy before it happens (and sometimes during and after), how absolutely violent it can be to the woman, I think perhaps the tone that was taken drives home that point better than most.
Second, the original comment neglects REALLY digging into one major aspect:
MONEY.
Here are the things that eventually cost money, time and time and money.
1. Clothing, eventually many women have to create an entire mini wardrobe from socks to bra and back again, often two, as you spend some time one size and then some more time a totally different size. Even some multi sized pants, for instance, only start working at a certain size. In case you were curious, a woman’s bra, a good one that’s comfortable and doesn’t press into your VERY SENSITIVE BOOBS (it’s a thing that happens) can cost upwards of $40 easily.
AND THEN often, post partum there’s whole ‘NOTHER pile of clothes women need. B/c of size, b/c of breast feeding, b/c of permanently changed parts of the body. Many women end up having to buy all new shoes.
2. FOOD. First, your grocery habits change immensely. And at a certain point its calories over content to a certain extent. If you find yourself 8 months pregnant only able to stomach even LOOKING at 3 particular foods, trust me, those are the foods you eat. Not everyone is lucky enough for those foods to be economical as well.
3. MEDICAL.
A Pregnant woman easily has 4 – 6 doctor appointments, sometimes many more over the course of the nine months. With the way insurance works those could qualify as specialties and therefore cost more than your average copay. On top of that, I’m betting there’s procedure fees, wanna bet they charge separate for some ultra sounds? And then there’s the ‘voluntary’ stuff, if you have a family history of certain genetic issues, are you gonna spring for the amnio? That’s nto cheap either. On top of that prenatal vitamins are hella expensive and absolutely not covered on insurance. And then what if your pregnancy requires special monitoring or special treatments?
I haven’t even gone into the hospital stay to have the kid. Even if they kick you out under 24 hours later, that’s still a VERY large bill.
4. On top of all this, if you are a full or part time worker, you’ll end up taking time off, which is less money right there. At least you might have insurance then.
5. Here is where we split, if you are giving your baby up for adoption, which is an incredibly traumatic experience, even for people who genuinely don’t want a child, then yes, you don’t have to uy all the items a new baby needs. If you are keeping the child, please insert anywhere from $500 – $2500 more dollars as prep work.
6. Recovery. Once you spit the kid out, you’re not done with doctors. As described above, there’s a lot of you physically that needs to recover. SO you have YET MORE DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS.
7. Your body is never the same. Look up the incidence of prolapse in older women who delivered vaginally. Yes, the body is amazing and for the most part goes back to normal (and that takes nearly a full year) but there are things that will never go back. Pregnancy is an incredibly dangerous and invasive and violent thing to happen to the human body and no one should be forced to go through with it if they don’t want to.
(In before “they should be more responsible”: You can do EVERYTHING RIGHT and still beat the odds. First you go and tell married couples they can never have sex if they don’t want kids and we’ll meet back here and you can tell me how that went before I go out and take that stance with everyone else.)
Edited to add: And in general, I took the best case scenarios and skipped things like diabetic issues and severe post partum issues.
Having experienced two pregnancies that did not go well for me physically (aside from healthy infants), YES, ALL OF THIS, THANK YOU.
I’ve had a daughter.. you know what.. instead of acting like it’s fucking torture, let’s put on our big girl panties and see how thankful you should fucking be. Everything is fucking expensive. You know what? It’s fucking worth every penny to have someone who loves you unconditionally. The description was total shit, and RUDE. I have a feeling that person was a twat feminist who thinks men should bow down right? Not have a say in the abortion? They deserve a say cause they helped make the miracle you’re so ungrateful about.
Painful? Sure. Guess what? It doesn’t matter once you’re holding that precious bundle who will grow to know you and care. I even know woman who were “rape babies”. That’s a human still. Very caring ones too. My “mom” was one of them. She stands up for rape victims and explains how she was born from it then suffered from it herself. It’s not the babies fault nor the person it’s done to. Don’t punish a life unless you’re sure it’s life threatening. We were made to reproduce.. not kill off.
A child of rape is not a miracle.
Women are not obliged to feel grateful for an unwanted pregnancy especially if the pregnancy was caused by rape.
Telling women they “need to put on their big girl panties“ and carry and unwanted or ambivalent pregnancy to term is manipulative and disgusting.
It is sick and twisted for you to say that.
“The description was total shit, and RUDE. I have a feeling that person
was a twat feminist who thinks men should bow down right?“
I have have the feeling, no, I know you believe women that men should have authority over us including our reproductive capabilities and see women not deferring to men as ‘oppressing’ or ‘subjugating’ them.
Don’t complain about rudeness when you say shit like “twat feminist”.
I could just as easily call you a brain dead baby snatcher….but that would be rude.
motherbychoice wrote a detailed response in a calm and rational manner explaining the pro choice position and pro lifers are acting like she told you to go get fucked or something.
“My “mom” was one of them. She stands up for rape victims and explains how she was born from it then suffered from it herself.”
If she says the things you do she isn’t standing up for rape victims.
“I have a feeling that person was a twat feminist who thinks men should bow down right?“
Men don’t have a say on abortion.
If she wants to discuss it with him she will.
It is her decision.
“They deserve a say cause they helped make the miracle you’re so ungrateful about.”
A man does not own the women he has impregnated.
“Painful? Sure. Guess what? It doesn’t matter once you’re holding that precious bundle who will grow to know you and care“
Did you think about what happens after that?
Cute babies!!!!! don’t make up for having to raise a child of rape they don’t stay children forever and they are eventually going to find out.
The impact that would have on the child is horrifying and you want to force this to happen.
“It’s not the babies fault nor the person it’s done to. Don’t punish a
life unless you’re sure it’s life threatening.”
Having an abortion isn’t ‘punishing‘ the fetus.
It is a woman deciding she doesn’t want to carry to term.
Women can have many reasons to decide to abort but no woman gets an abortion to punish the fetus.
“We were made to
reproduce.. not kill off.”
Women are not brood mares.
Just because you can reproduce doesn’t mean you have to.
Pregnancies are rejected in the womb all the time.
Not every fertilsed egg or fetus is supposed to end up born.
Celtyradfem 