I really hate the third wave bullshit replacement of “victim” with “survivor”. I was victimised. That some shell of me survived is almost beside the point.
I have complicated thoughts and feelings about the terms survivor and victim
They are trying to avoid the stigma of victimisation by replacing the word victim with survivor
you will never hear a story about a man running up to a random group of men he doesn’t know and begging them to pretend they’re his friends because some woman has been following him or some woman has put something in his drink. but you hear stories upon stories of women begging random women to pretend to be their friends in public in order to save them from men, or random women coming to the rescue of women they don’t know because they got creepy vibes from a man.
like men do not know that fucking horror. last night i was looking through the twoxchromosomes reddit page and one woman posted about how she was using a public gas station bathroom and she noticed some random dude standing outside the bathroom door and her warning signs went off. when she went in the bathroom, the guy followed her in there and turned on the (loud) hand dryer (to muffle the sounds of her screams for help, she guessed) so she had to think fast to get the hell away from him because when she’d gone in her bathroom stall to pee, he was trying to get out of the stall that he had gone in so that he could stand near her stall and follow her. and you could sense the panic in this woman’s voice as she wrote out how she was trying to escape so this man couldn’t catch her. towards the end of her post, she said something that i think is so heartbreaking because i’m in the same boat and i’ve had the same thoughts. she said that she’d never been sexually assaulted before in her life, but the older she got the more she was afraid that she was on borrowed time and eventually her time would run out. these are the exact same feelings that i, and i know countless other women who are in the same position, get. we feel like it’s a race against the clock. like just being a woman means that, at some point in our lives, we will be sexually assaulted, and we’re just navigating a minefield and trying to extend our time.
and the thing is: men choose to make life this way for women. they choose to make women fear them. they choose to harass women and make us feel like we have to find solace with random women who, unfortunately, also understand the fear that we feel when some dude starts following/harassing us. all of this could easily stop if they chose not to do that shit anymore. women wouldn’t have to feel like avoiding sexual assault is something we have to schedule into our lives if men just chose to not fucking sexually assault women. but they don’t want to do any of that. they want us to fear them. they think that women exist to be nothing but fuckholes, so whatever the fuck a woman feels doesn’t fucking matter. as long as they wanna stick their dick in us, we need to get the fuck over it and stop complaining. after all, sexual assault is just really bad sex, right? so what are we always complaining about? men have had bad sex before. just let men rape you and stop complaining so much, you stupid whores.
this is why men claiming to be the most oppressed women pisses me off so much. you did not grow up with this. in fact, y’all grew up thinking that women were lying or exaggerating the depths of our problems. but now that some of them experience 1/10th of what bio women have been experiencing our whole lives, we’re just supposed to let them talk over us and put their experiences over our own? a lot of these men have been the perpetrators of that very same type of fear for women, but now that they claim to be women, actual women are supposed to put our own issues on the backburner and say that these men have it worse than us? are you fucking stupid? did these men grow up feeling like being raped is just one of the facts of their existence? did they grew up having to navigate spaces with men? having to be hyper-aware of their surroundings because they would always be blamed for whatever a man chose to do to them? so why the fuck are they taking these very real fears and experiences of women and claiming that them experiencing these things as people who grew up being viewed as men makes them more oppressed than actual women?
there’s just so many examples of living life growing up female that trans women will never ever experience, fears that they will never ever understand. so when i hear that i’m supposed to center them in my feminism all i can really say is “why?” what the fuck could someone who grew up being viewed as male in this world, and thus did not grow up with 99% of the experiences i did being female and being perceived as female, tell me about womanhood? what the fuck could you possibly tell me about something that i’ve lived my whole life that is so fucking important that i need to shut the fuck up and let you talk over me and other women? shut the fuck up.
you will never hear a story about a man running up to a random group of men he doesn’t know and begging them to pretend they’re his friends because some woman has been following him or some woman has put something in his drink. but you hear stories upon stories of women begging random women to pretend to be their friends in public in order to save them from men, or random women coming to the rescue of women they don’t know because they got creepy vibes from a man.
like men do not know that fucking horror. last night i was looking through the twoxchromosomes reddit page and one woman posted about how she was using a public gas station bathroom and she noticed some random dude standing outside the bathroom door and her warning signs went off. when she went in the bathroom, the guy followed her in there and turned on the (loud) hand dryer (to muffle the sounds of her screams for help, she guessed) so she had to think fast to get the hell away from him because when she’d gone in her bathroom stall to pee, he was trying to get out of the stall that he had gone in so that he could stand near her stall and follow her. and you could sense the panic in this woman’s voice as she wrote out how she was trying to escape so this man couldn’t catch her. towards the end of her post, she said something that i think is so heartbreaking because i’m in the same boat and i’ve had the same thoughts. she said that she’d never been sexually assaulted before in her life, but the older she got the more she was afraid that she was on borrowed time and eventually her time would run out. these are the exact same feelings that i, and i know countless other women who are in the same position, get. we feel like it’s a race against the clock. like just being a woman means that, at some point in our lives, we will be sexually assaulted, and we’re just navigating a minefield and trying to extend our time.
and the thing is: men choose to make life this way for women. they choose to make women fear them. they choose to harass women and make us feel like we have to find solace with random women who, unfortunately, also understand the fear that we feel when some dude starts following/harassing us. all of this could easily stop if they chose not to do that shit anymore. women wouldn’t have to feel like avoiding sexual assault is something we have to schedule into our lives if men just chose to not fucking sexually assault women. but they don’t want to do any of that. they want us to fear them. they think that women exist to be nothing but fuckholes, so whatever the fuck a woman feels doesn’t fucking matter. as long as they wanna stick their dick in us, we need to get the fuck over it and stop complaining. after all, sexual assault is just really bad sex, right? so what are we always complaining about? men have had bad sex before. just let men rape you and stop complaining so much, you stupid whores.
this is why men claiming to be the most oppressed women pisses me off so much. you did not grow up with this. in fact, y’all grew up thinking that women were lying or exaggerating the depths of our problems. but now that some of them experience 1/10th of what bio women have been experiencing our whole lives, we’re just supposed to let them talk over us and put their experiences over our own? a lot of these men have been the perpetrators of that very same type of fear for women, but now that they claim to be women, actual women are supposed to put our own issues on the backburner and say that these men have it worse than us? are you fucking stupid? did these men grow up feeling like being raped is just one of the facts of their existence? did they grew up having to navigate spaces with men? having to be hyper-aware of their surroundings because they would always be blamed for whatever a man chose to do to them? so why the fuck are they taking these very real fears and experiences of women and claiming that them experiencing these things as people who grew up being viewed as men makes them more oppressed than actual women?
there’s just so many examples of living life growing up female that trans women will never ever experience, fears that they will never ever understand. so when i hear that i’m supposed to center them in my feminism all i can really say is “why?” what the fuck could someone who grew up being viewed as male in this world, and thus did not grow up with 99% of the experiences i did being female and being perceived as female, tell me about womanhood? what the fuck could you possibly tell me about something that i’ve lived my whole life that is so fucking important that i need to shut the fuck up and let you talk over me and other women? shut the fuck up.
women who prioritise men and spend most of their time with men will never understand me and i’ll never understand them. it makes me sad sometimes because obviously i’m always going to want sisterhood with other women and i’m still gonna look out for them but on a really fundamental level we’re starkly different and that’s just the reality of it
you know what! im gonna say it. this post is nasty and cognitively dissonant and just flat out wrong. you cant say you care about women if you other the very women who are most often victims of male violence. no women “prioritizes men.” and women who do think mens opinions of them are important are victims of harmful socialization, not
your other or your enemy. i really encourage you to read over this post and think about what you’re actually saying. about yourself and other women. Bye.
did you ever think that maybe this post is about women treating me and women like me as the other and the enemy? that because i’m gender non-conforming and a lesbian they don’t view me as a woman at all? did you read the part where i said i’m always striving for sisterhood with these women and looking out for them despite our differences? the reality of it is that some women do prioritise men, because every force within the patriarchy is driving them to do so. i’m not blaming them for that, i’m mourning the loss of common ground and connection that comes out of pervasive misogyny.
Anyway no woman “prioritizes men” of their own accord and if you think that you’re literally a smelly misogynist bitch! you’ve been blocked weirdo go cry about it
On this day, 30 June 1908, suffragists, fighting for votes for women, attacked and stoned the home of the British Prime Minister at 10 Downing Street. This is a short overview of violence used by the movement which is often ignored by historians: https://ift.tt/2wFyvRF
Pictured: A suffragette attempting to chain herself to the gates of 10 Downing Street, we believe on a different occasion https://ift.tt/2tVQIdA
Female students at the Polytechnical University in Kabul, Afghanistan in the mid 1970s (image.glamourdaze.com)
A sobering picture. History isn’t linear. Those women probably never would have thought that Afghanistan would be what it is culturally for women today. Don’t take women’s rights for granted, they can go quicker and easier than they were won.
Celtyradfem 