rad-feminism:

Hello!
Femininity is harmful to women because it entails a specific kind of behaviour which is generally pushing women to be submissive, meek/quiet, compliant, basically not aggressive or have any emotion that would come across as loud or draw any attention to ourselves. Femininity also includes modifying our appearance to what appeals to men. Liberal feminists tend to say “but we do it for ourselves”, but do we really? Where did the idea of the ‘ideal’ woman come from? Magazines, billboards, television, movies, all industries run by men. The images that come from them are projected and put there by men. This image of the ‘ideal’ woman implies that there is a standard we have to meet in order to be considered attractive and therefore worthy of their time. It implies that those that do not strive to be the ideal woman don’t take care of themselves, or are repulsive.
Steps taken by women to become this ‘ideal woman’ include wearing makeup to fit conventional standards of beauty, dressing ourselves to the right degree of sexually attractive enough for men, wearing heels which are actually very harmful to your feet and back all because ~fashion~. 
Consider the idea of a typically sexually attractive woman to men- large bust and butt, flat stomach, thin but not too thin, big lips, long hair. For all of those expectations there are surgeries to “fix” women.
Liposuction, botox, lip injections, breast implants, butt implants, extensions for your hair, now extensions for your eyelashes too! 
Typically femininity is something that (if you think about it) caters to men and their need to dominate and control women. 
Did you know in Lebanon there are loans you can take out specifically to get plastic surgery?

Femininity is harmful because women who do not comply with typical beauty standards are ostracized and shamed. They are made to feel repulsive, and told they are not ‘real’ women. It becomes something compulsory to live. You probably have noticed this yourself. When women and young girls especially are exposed to these standards and images continuously, they believe it is the norm and this impacts their self esteem greatly. If you don’t wear makeup, you aren’t seen as attractive- something increasingly important to be in this superficial society we live in, which eventually goes on to become harsher insults like- you don’t groom yourself, you don’t take care of yourself. Employers actually don’t hire women claiming they aren’t ‘professional’ enough if they don’t wear makeup. Women are insulted and ridiculed because they lack femininity. 

Now capitalism has turned femininity into a game of profit. The beauty industry is thriving because the self esteems of girls are going lower and lower with more unattainable standards of beauty being thrown at them everywhere you look. Advertising is everywhere, from the internet, to television, to billboards. It’s not hard to feel ugly when you don’t comply with their version of beauty.

It also has extremely negative effects on the health of young teens. Eating disorders and body dysphoria plague young girls and even women. Girls and women are constantly weight watching, trying to get to that unattainable idea of perfection that has been created by men.

While right now, femininity is necessary because other wise we wouldn’t be taken seriously, it is also important to raise awareness inform people of how femininity came to be.

It began with this:

 

which lead to this:

and now women spend thousands of dollars on beauty standards that are physically and emotionally harmful to them. 

Hope that helped!

I highly recommend you read Beauty and Misogyny by Sheila Jeffreys for more an indepth analysis! 

Feminism is meant to liberate women from the patriarchy which encourages these expectations and standards which lead women to believe there is a particular way to be a woman. It includes analyzing how women as a class are oppressed.

You might be talking about liberal feminism which does not analyze why women perform these actions, but rather say anything a woman chooses to do is her choice and hence should be supported in the name of feminism! This however, fails to include gender non conforming women who don’t like the choices they are presented, and also fails to analyze why we only have the choices we have, and whether or not they are harmful to us and/or oppress us and keep us at the bottom of the hierarchy.